


a warm embrace (has never felt so cold)

by YokaiShinari



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: "Chat is straight up DEAD guys", Angst, Marichat?, Marinette's pink dress, Suicide, depressed Marinette, full blown sad feelings, inspired by a drawing, marichatmay, or a hand of a loved one, partial reveal, read while holding a fluffy blanket, there's soulmate AU mention there, uploading at 3am, what does a candle do when it stops burning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 04:24:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18024629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YokaiShinari/pseuds/YokaiShinari
Summary: Distraught by a sudden death of her partner, Marinette had died inside with him. And after long months of mourning, she decides to finally let go.





	a warm embrace (has never felt so cold)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Katrartt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katrartt/gifts).



> This is a return gift for my beautiful worstie (like "bestie", only that we're the worst) Katrartt, inspired by her wonderful amazing angsty drawing, animated art HERE -> https://katrartt.tumblr.com/post/183234861470/marinette-and-her-chaton-i-saw-the-dress-and-i
> 
> this is sad. I cried while writing. But not while writing that forsaken by gods candle. furicken candles.

Marinette breathed in the night air, tasting it, savoring like a fine wine. It felt nice to let the last bits of freshness in. To gulp down the feeling of lightness.

She wasn't going to miss this.

She missed her partner, though. She's been missing, longing after him for a few years now.

A few unnecessary years too long.

The memory of him burning through her mind. The ache he left in her, the empty halls of his being formerly craved into her heart. How painful was the day he'd been so forcefully ripped from her. Wrenched by the careful, though unforgiving hands of Death.

And she didn't even know who he'd been. What kind-hearted, funny and caring boy hid under that magic mask...

Marinette stood by the railing of the balcony and looked away with her blank stare. She was so tired. She's been tired for all these years. Never getting enough sleep. Either from her schooling times, or akuma fighting times, or her heartbreaks and feeling of loneliness...

Or recently, for overworking herself with college... While trying to forget. Forget him. Forget THEM.

She's been trying and failing time after time.

A soft sigh escaped her glossed lips.  

Forgetting her fluttering little "love" with the name _Adrien_ plastered over her carefully stocked fashion magazines was easy. Well, _easier._ He'd been announcing that he was going somewhere for a while. And when he suddenly went away, without any goodbye or alerting words, Marinette understood that she had never meant for him that much as she hoped. As she had been projecting for years. And so she let him go.

But _Chat Noir_...

He died in battle. They had fought together side by side that night. It was awful. All those akumatized villains and Hawkmoth himself. They got separated.

And she felt it. No hit or burst of power against her had been as terrible as the choking sensation of her soul ripping in half. And just like that Chat disappeared from that world. No body. No goodbyes. No last shared tears and assurances of eternal love.

But he stayed. She felt him every step she made. His presence, flickering in the air around her. Manifesting himself in the whispers on the wind. In little soft touches he sometimes would leave on her skin.

Sometimes she could see a brighter phantom shifting in the shadows, just in the corner of her eyes.

He was there... He couldn't leave.

" _Marinette..."_

The wind brought her back on the balcony. Her throat sore and dry, for she didn't have any more tears left and what remained were painful lonely sobs of a broken body.

She dressed nicely that night. Her eighteenth birthday. Also the day when two years ago her loved partner had...

_"My Lady..."_

Another sigh. This time less soft and more desperate. For _something._

_Ironically, this could be also the day she..._

Despite her beautified body, her features emanated the deep sadness that she couldn't hide all those long lonely months.

Other people thought she went insane. She'd been talking to the wind, calling a certain cat-boy that wasn't there. Her closest ones put together the puzzle pieces and discovered her secrets. Past secrets of leading a double life. And assumed that her "adventures" ensured those traumas. They weren't wrong...

She'd became a literal lady in the attic. Wailing in her room, screaming, pleading with day-dreams, or day-mares. Crying about past ghosts of her life. Of all the distress and pain.

Life was hell when she couldn't touch what's been right in her reach. And she couldn't deal with this anymore.

She cradled a lit candle with her delicate fingers. The flame gracefully dancing and flickering, leaving uneven circles of light on the railing, on the milky skin of her hands, on her pretty pink dress.

Her last real life result of being a lady of creation.

A familiar cold brushed her naked shoulder. Asking. Announcing. Uncertain. She welcomed it and even caught her heart jumping ever so slightly.

"Hello, Chat."

Her meek whisper drifted away, but reached its recipient anyway. At least she hoped it did.

Couple of loose strands of her hair waved on a wind that naturally wasn't there. That was his sign. His answer. He did that sometimes.

She knew he also felt her feelings. Lots of times she could feel his touches when she felt exceptionally grim. Reassuring, calming, refreshing.

_Loving._

This time that cooling feeling circled around her shoulders and stayed like this. Shivers went through her body as she resisted the crave to lean into the touch. To feel him more. To let him touch her more. Even though he wasn't there, even though she almost persuaded herself that it wasn't real. She still longed for him. And it destroyed her inside.

So she stayed in the same position, firmly grasped in her own numbness. Stillness. Lethargic tranquility.

She sighed again bringing the candle in her hands up, towards her face. Looking into the light she mused.

"You know I made up my mind, Chat."

Another prickling shiver, this time left on the crook of her neck. He'd do that too. Held her in the coldness of his dead embrace. And it would warm some of her cold nights, occasionally. Not this time, however. This time, she was sure of her actions.

_"Don't."_

He couldn't understand her. He'd want her here. He wanted to be here too.

But they could only stay in this never-ending limbo. One on one side, while the other was hurt elsewhere. What held him here was love. For her. And her love for him.

What held her here...

?

For the last time she allowed herself some tears. Last salty droplets, with which last emotions would leave her body at last. Finally.

"I can't - I can't anymore!"

Her trembling body withering under the weight of her grief. He was here, but of course - he wasn't. his support was nonexistent. Never-been-here. She'd been abandoned. By all she had and all she was.

"I'm - she sobbed again - I'm letting you _go."_

_"Please..."_

His whispers more audible than before. He wanted her here. If he stayed then she would too. She knew. But just for this reason, she couldn't let this happen. She couldn't remain in her screaming mind while her body weakened and weakened day by day.

"Just go away." - she pleaded. - "Go _away."_ \- told him. - " _Away!"_ \- demanded.

Every word was another torture. For him. As well as for herself. She knew this day came and that was it. Even these last words weren't as painful as all the sorrow and grief she went through while mourning him.

And herself. For she'd been dead herself too, anyway. She'd died alongside her partner. Her best friend. The same kid she'd been. Her sweet, sweet kitty.

Dearest... _somebody._

Him.

So she stayed, waiting for the finale.

_"Farewell, Princess."_

The wind moaned its sorrow for the last time. He tightened around her and for a speck of a second she thought she felt a real hand caressing her neck. But she didn't move as it flew past her and into the dark, cold night. And with that, she blew out the candle in her hand and the world became empty again.

She felt nothing while she climbed the railing of the balcony. For the last time she overlooked the night view of Paris that she'd known so well.

Closing her eyes with finality, she leapt.

 

 


End file.
